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Jen this hit home in uncomfortable ways. I have practiced a similar habit of erring on the side of “niceness”, or trying to avoid appearing judgmental, only to reap the terrible consequences of holding my tongue when I should have spoken up. The discernment that disagreement requires is no small work, and I find I have to battle the temptation to self-protect, rather than speak up. Uhg. You poked a tender nerve with this...thank you for sharing.

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Kris, May God give us all courage when it’s needed! Thanks for sharing your experience!

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I had that Plough article pulled up to read in the near future when I read this. Agree wholeheartedly with your conclusion here. I myself am one to "see all sides" in many instances - but sometimes it's okay (and good!) to straightforwardly disagree with charity... and a confidence without pride. (See also: that recent hour-long Gospel Coalition video with Jen Wilkin on education choices.)

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The confidence without pride takes so much maturity and wisdom.

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I haven’t watched this yet! Thanks for the reminder!

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Thankful to read this this afternoon. I struggle with "not disagreeing," too. I appreciate your clear distinguishment between disagreeing on the grounds of love and truth versus more uncharitable causes.

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God bless you in your faithful disagreeing!

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This is a fascinating topic. I agree as believers we need to be better at disagreeing. How can we disagree in a gracious, patient, winsome, yet firm way? How can we continue to disagree WELL when those we disagree with do it badly? I think Jesus is a wonderful example, and not merely when He was flipping tables. Too often I hear Christians use the "flipping tables" example as permission to rage on others. He only flipped tables the one time. Much of His ministry consisted of "disagreeing" with those around Him, and I think we can look at the rest of His interactions as a far better example to emulate. If anyone could disagree with grace and truth, it was Jesus.

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Your second question is a really important one. Can we disagree well with others who choose to disagree poorly? That’s hard! And yes, Jesus is our teacher in all of this!

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