"A good marriage requires a lifetime: of owning the debilitating deformities of the story you inherited as a child and the ways you run skittish and spooked from love. Marriage takes the work of learning to speak hard truths gently and hopefully—and learning when those god-honest truths are best left unsaid because you are not the Holy Spirit after all." Beautifully said. We celebrated 33 yrs on Saturday.
Yes this is such a truth I needed remembering! When to speak and when to be quiet, trusting the Lord regardless to do his good work in my life and my husband's.
So much wisdom here. My wife and I are a little over a decade in and have felt that weight of waiting often. It's encouraging to hear from others who are further down the road who have seen certain harvests from that patience. Thank you for writing this!
Thank you for sharing grace and forgiveness and also affirming that there are good reasons for divorce. The latter is vital because many (including pastors) are unaware how narcissism works.
Thanks again for your article and your reply. There are lots of videos online, including Christian ones. Something I learned recently is that if one partner is an actual narcissist, the more healthy partner should go to to counseling by him/herself to become aware of what is going on (such as gaslighting--making the healthy person doubt reality).
I've only been married a year and a half but oh my goodness if this is not the lesson I keep learning---forigve and forget. It reminds me of a story I heard of Clara Barton. She had been wounded by someone and years later a friend asked her about it and Clara didn't remember it. The friend asked how she could forget the offense and Clara said, "Because I remember intentionally forgetting it."
I pray I continue to grow in this forgiveness and forgetting.
Thank you for writing this! I was so encouraged by your first post and am equally so with this one.
Wow, I came across this post and Part 1 at the right time. I appreciated your thoughts on marriage in general and the rawness of dealing with difficult times and situations. It really made me think about things in my own marriage and life this morning.
Beautifully written. Marriage is beautiful but so difficult sometimes. It takes patience and commitment to stay married. Narcissism is a killer of marriage and sometimes divorce is the only way to survive. Thank you for your writing. I thoroughly enjoy it.
So wise and helpful, Jen. Thank you!
Thanks for reading, Katherine! And congrats on your recent move!
"A good marriage requires a lifetime: of owning the debilitating deformities of the story you inherited as a child and the ways you run skittish and spooked from love. Marriage takes the work of learning to speak hard truths gently and hopefully—and learning when those god-honest truths are best left unsaid because you are not the Holy Spirit after all." Beautifully said. We celebrated 33 yrs on Saturday.
33 years! Congratulations!
Yes this is such a truth I needed remembering! When to speak and when to be quiet, trusting the Lord regardless to do his good work in my life and my husband's.
Glad it served you!
So much wisdom here. My wife and I are a little over a decade in and have felt that weight of waiting often. It's encouraging to hear from others who are further down the road who have seen certain harvests from that patience. Thank you for writing this!
Wait well and hopefully! It’s a good marriage word, Collin! God bless your family.
Thank you for sharing grace and forgiveness and also affirming that there are good reasons for divorce. The latter is vital because many (including pastors) are unaware how narcissism works.
I am sure I myself don’t know!
Thanks again for your article and your reply. There are lots of videos online, including Christian ones. Something I learned recently is that if one partner is an actual narcissist, the more healthy partner should go to to counseling by him/herself to become aware of what is going on (such as gaslighting--making the healthy person doubt reality).
I've only been married a year and a half but oh my goodness if this is not the lesson I keep learning---forigve and forget. It reminds me of a story I heard of Clara Barton. She had been wounded by someone and years later a friend asked her about it and Clara didn't remember it. The friend asked how she could forget the offense and Clara said, "Because I remember intentionally forgetting it."
I pray I continue to grow in this forgiveness and forgetting.
Thank you for writing this! I was so encouraged by your first post and am equally so with this one.
Blessings on these early years!
Loved it all, but especially the last two sentences! What a memorable conclusion.
Thanks for reading, Cathy!
Wow, I came across this post and Part 1 at the right time. I appreciated your thoughts on marriage in general and the rawness of dealing with difficult times and situations. It really made me think about things in my own marriage and life this morning.
Beautifully written. Marriage is beautiful but so difficult sometimes. It takes patience and commitment to stay married. Narcissism is a killer of marriage and sometimes divorce is the only way to survive. Thank you for your writing. I thoroughly enjoy it.
You are welcome, La Vonne!