My name is Elizabeth. Today is my eighteenth birthday. I have been up since sunrise wrestling with questions about what I want and what God wants. As I prayed and prayed and thought and read the Scripture, I finally came to the place where I simply begged God for some clarity. He sent it to me this morning through your substack letter. I just wanted to thank you for this.
Thank you so much for your transparency in the struggle to love and honor your mother. I never tied my way-too-similar struggle so clearly with desire and the fulfillment of my truest one. It’s very helpful!
Jen, this spoke deeply to my heart, validated my efforts of the past 15 yrs. I’ve spent much time praying and trying to embody that God/Jesus would be my greatest affection and He continues to answer by revealing and often withholding that which competes. Mostly good things, like wanting a certain relationship with my kids or like you, attending to my mother at the loss of something else I’d rather do with my time. All the while, He has helped me loosen my grip, while reordering my affections, with Jesus at the top. It’s been a long slow process, evidenced by less resistance and more okay-ness that He is enough. Learning slowly, the secret of being content is where release of my desire or expectation of outcome meets trust in God’s goodness. EVEN IF i can’t yet see or understand the why, I’ve learned to trust Who ordains the Day. It’s transforming my heart slowly to love Him more. Loved this post!
Wow. So good. So timely. So yes and yet. Living in the tension. I’ve always had a fondness for the old wooden schoolyard seesaws, even when the space at the top never lasted long enough before the inevitable bump at ground level! But such is like. I smiled all through your post. Thank you.
Oof, Jen. The honesty and vulnerability with which you share, thank you friend. It helps to illuminate things otherwise hard to see, and makes the reality of certain situations less lonely to navigate.
Mrs. Jen,
My name is Elizabeth. Today is my eighteenth birthday. I have been up since sunrise wrestling with questions about what I want and what God wants. As I prayed and prayed and thought and read the Scripture, I finally came to the place where I simply begged God for some clarity. He sent it to me this morning through your substack letter. I just wanted to thank you for this.
Thank you so much for your transparency in the struggle to love and honor your mother. I never tied my way-too-similar struggle so clearly with desire and the fulfillment of my truest one. It’s very helpful!
I’m so glad!!
Jen, this spoke deeply to my heart, validated my efforts of the past 15 yrs. I’ve spent much time praying and trying to embody that God/Jesus would be my greatest affection and He continues to answer by revealing and often withholding that which competes. Mostly good things, like wanting a certain relationship with my kids or like you, attending to my mother at the loss of something else I’d rather do with my time. All the while, He has helped me loosen my grip, while reordering my affections, with Jesus at the top. It’s been a long slow process, evidenced by less resistance and more okay-ness that He is enough. Learning slowly, the secret of being content is where release of my desire or expectation of outcome meets trust in God’s goodness. EVEN IF i can’t yet see or understand the why, I’ve learned to trust Who ordains the Day. It’s transforming my heart slowly to love Him more. Loved this post!
“Loosening my grip” - yes!
Not giving up! 🔥
Wow. So good. So timely. So yes and yet. Living in the tension. I’ve always had a fondness for the old wooden schoolyard seesaws, even when the space at the top never lasted long enough before the inevitable bump at ground level! But such is like. I smiled all through your post. Thank you.
We are of a certain age to remember when they let us do something as risky as ride a seesaw!! 😅
I will be coming back to this for a slow re-read. So many great points!
Thanks as always for reading, Michele!
Thank you for putting words to what I've been experiencing and feeling, but have had a hard time naming/describing/articulating!
You’re welcome!
Oof, Jen. The honesty and vulnerability with which you share, thank you friend. It helps to illuminate things otherwise hard to see, and makes the reality of certain situations less lonely to navigate.
I am so glad to be writing on this again, and I’m glad you found it helpful!