What a beautiful post, Jen. This resonates so deeply with me, and I'm sure I'll ponder it a lot today. I was estranged from my mother when she died. The way some plan their estates for their children's welfare after they pass, she planned my pain, making no effort to reconcile or forgive. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Linda, that sounds incredibly painful. My heart really aches for you. But I trust that Jesus has bound up (and continues to bind up) your broken heart, even as you await that full and final repair.
Jen, this is beautiful. As a nurse who has seen many people die alone, it is so precious that you gave your aunt a good death, where she was seen and beloved even in the brokenness. A good death is a theme I've been meditating on lately, and it is encouraging to see your writing about it here.
Thanks again for opening your journal for us to share the rawness of life’s emotions. What a honor for you to be chosen to walk her into the arms of Jesus…bruised and broken, for complete healing! It’s a broken world…grateful for a Savior that understands! Keep writing! We all are blessed!!!
It seems wrong to tell you this was well-written. Of course it was! But wow. I don't read many letters that surge into my inbox. Perhaps "deathbed" caught my intrigue. I worried it was yours. I thought, Surely she's not penning a letter to us on her deathbed. I had to know. Great words, especially as I process something I must forgive. Thank you.
I feel conflicted about this! I have my great-aunt's journals, someone who was very, very special to me, and I absolutely treasure them. I can see that some private thoughts would bring pain - but I wonder if that pain would be offset if readers could also see the inner wrestling?
Jen, I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for this tender and nuanced exploration of grief and all its ancillary emotions. I certainly have folks I need to forgive, and this was a gentle nudge in that direction.
“Forgiveness is the greatest reality of the Christian faith…” Thank you for calling out this truth. Sitting vigil is an honorable choice. I offer my sympathies on your loss.
Jen, this is an authentic, tender glimpse into the complexity of family relationships. I always appreciate you sharing the struggles, it's so human with room for grace. I've been at the bedside, watched the last breath of a complicated family member. It's weighty brushing up against the veil with someone not so endearing. Grateful to you always for entrusting us with parts of your story, so well written. Honestly, your words minister to my heart, thank you so much! Stopping to pray for you today.
What a beautiful post, Jen. This resonates so deeply with me, and I'm sure I'll ponder it a lot today. I was estranged from my mother when she died. The way some plan their estates for their children's welfare after they pass, she planned my pain, making no effort to reconcile or forgive. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Linda, that sounds incredibly painful. My heart really aches for you. But I trust that Jesus has bound up (and continues to bind up) your broken heart, even as you await that full and final repair.
Yes, Jesus faithfully tends my heart.
Jen, this is beautiful. As a nurse who has seen many people die alone, it is so precious that you gave your aunt a good death, where she was seen and beloved even in the brokenness. A good death is a theme I've been meditating on lately, and it is encouraging to see your writing about it here.
I was certainly thinking a lot about the medieval tradition of a good death. I hope to do more writing on that!
I'm full of awe over this one, Jen.
Friend, thank you. You know how much I treasure you.
I do, I do, I do! xx
Thanks again for opening your journal for us to share the rawness of life’s emotions. What a honor for you to be chosen to walk her into the arms of Jesus…bruised and broken, for complete healing! It’s a broken world…grateful for a Savior that understands! Keep writing! We all are blessed!!!
Paula, I'm so grateful you read and constantly encourage me to keep writing. Thank you!
Thanks for your honesty. Families can be so broken and painful. Even a glimpse of something redemptive is beautiful
You're welcome. Redemption indeed!
It seems wrong to tell you this was well-written. Of course it was! But wow. I don't read many letters that surge into my inbox. Perhaps "deathbed" caught my intrigue. I worried it was yours. I thought, Surely she's not penning a letter to us on her deathbed. I had to know. Great words, especially as I process something I must forgive. Thank you.
Oh goodness, sorry for that scare! It didn’t occur to me some people might think the deathbed was mine!
Such a powerful post, thank you for sharing this with us Jen. Will be praying for you as you continue to process and navigate your familial dynamics.
Thanks for your prayers, Steve!
Just beautiful, Jen. Thanks for writing it.
Thanks so much, Steve!
I wonder about those who demand that their journals are destroyed after their death. I would want mine to be as well, I think.
I feel conflicted about this! I have my great-aunt's journals, someone who was very, very special to me, and I absolutely treasure them. I can see that some private thoughts would bring pain - but I wonder if that pain would be offset if readers could also see the inner wrestling?
there is a particularly racy theology rumor that cannot be settled bc of the destruction of correspondence
Interesting. . . . say more!
Karl Barth had a mistress/secretary who was very publicly present in his life and work. Apparently many wrote to him to urge him to stop this, but we do not have these correspondences. I'd sell anything I own for them! More here: https://www.christiancentury.org/review/books/karl-barth-s-affair-charlotte-von-kirschbaum-wasn-t-only-major-conflict-behind-his
Ok yes, I had heard of this! Thanks for sending this link to this article!
i am one of the only people i know who likes Barth *more* for these indiscretions
Jen, I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for this tender and nuanced exploration of grief and all its ancillary emotions. I certainly have folks I need to forgive, and this was a gentle nudge in that direction.
May God grant all the necessary grace!
Beautifully written. My heart is overwhelmed reading this! Thank you!
Praise God!
This is beautiful, Jen. Thank you.
Thanks be to God!
Oh, Jen. Thank you for this.
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading!
This is so tender, Jen. Thank you for sharing this. It speaks to me as I consider some painful, unhealed relationships. I’m sorry for your loss.
Praying that God makes a way for repair, Kris!
“Forgiveness is the greatest reality of the Christian faith…” Thank you for calling out this truth. Sitting vigil is an honorable choice. I offer my sympathies on your loss.
Thank you, Angela!
Jen, this is an authentic, tender glimpse into the complexity of family relationships. I always appreciate you sharing the struggles, it's so human with room for grace. I've been at the bedside, watched the last breath of a complicated family member. It's weighty brushing up against the veil with someone not so endearing. Grateful to you always for entrusting us with parts of your story, so well written. Honestly, your words minister to my heart, thank you so much! Stopping to pray for you today.
Appreciate your prayers, Kathleen!