“In fact, even cursory glances through the Gospels confirm that the work Jesus did in the lives of his disciples occurred because the disciples were in relationship, not simply with him, but with one another. That manner of growth in spiritual depth—in the context of community—is not accidental. It is part of how people are built. We were created to seek God, and we were created to find him with others. Not only does this reflect the strategy of Jesus, but just as crucially, it reflects the design of God.”
(The Pursuit of God in the Company of Friends by Richard Lamb, Page17)
“But there is one defect I do see. In addressing my readers as individuals, trying as best I can to single them out and search their hearts before God, I fail to show that it is only as one gives oneself in human relationships, in the home, in friendships, with neighbors, as members of Christian groups and teams--in relationships that go sometimes right and sometimes wrong, as all our relationships do--that experiential knowledge of God becomes real and deep. For ordinary people, to be a hermit is not the way! The buttoned-up Christian “loner” who keeps aloof and reads books like this (or just the Bible!) may pick up true notions of God as well as anyone else may, but only the Christian sharer , who risks being hurt in order to take and give the maximum in fellowship and who sometimes does get hurt as a result, ever knows much of God himself in experiential terms. This perspective, so clear in the Psalms (to which, perhaps, my book should be seen as a preamble, or maybe a footnote), is so vital that I am very much at fault for not having made more of it. But if groups use this study guide, as is intended, that in itself may yet induce the necessary open and mutually committed lifestyle which I failed to mark out in the exposition. I hope and pray so, anyway.”
Thank you for this. Community is a hard thing for me especially the writing community. Though that’s not totally true. I have crappy emotional intelligence so in a group I can be good at alienating people. I have a lot of hurt that makes me gunshy. But I also have some friends who say keep going, and who read my work. Thanks for your writing and insightful essay.
Katie, every person’s story is a broken story yet it is our brokenness that makes our story our story. Our stories are worth the telling and each person’s story is worth the hearing. I deeply believe that in the mystery of grace the telling and hearing of our stories is what transforms our wounds into scars. Our scars never deny the reality of our wounds but scars also testify to the healing and it is in the healing we discover purpose and connection to the One who will some day tell us the story of His scars.
"The thing is, of course, that when you’re left alone to carry burdens, you get good at independence. And because you look so capable, it perpetuates the assumption that you don’t need help. I lived a long time with the resentment of this dynamic, until I realized I would have to learn to invite others in."
Well put! I've also found that when I try too hard to be in control of things, a similar isolating effect occurs. In the moment, being in control feels great, but in the long run I realize I'm still a fallen person living in a fallen world that needs help from those around me. I'm learning to get better at being vulnerable around others and, as you said, learning to invite them in. Certainly an area for growth!
It's difficult for most people to talk about themselves whether it is about successes or failures. This is especially true for those who are independently minded. I've found that those who matter celebrate your successes with you and encourage you when you are short of the goal. People crave authenticity. I think you'll find that people respond to us when we show we're only humans doing the best we can. But never be afraid of sharing your successes whatever they may be. It's not bragging, it's an encouragement to others.
Your words remind me of Andy Crouch's work on vulnerability! And you're right, relationships and community can't be built apart from the trust that vulnerability requires.
Jen, here is another quote that you may find of interest.
John
“Abundance has brought beautiful things to our lives, but that bevy of material goods has not necessarily made us much happier. The paradox of prosperity is that while living standards have risen steadily decade after decade, personal, family and life satisfaction haven't budged. That is why more people--liberated by prosperity but not fulfilled by it--are seeking to resolve the paradox by searching for meaning. The most striking feature of contemporary culture is the unslaked craving for transcendence.”
A couple of quotes you may find of interest.
“In fact, even cursory glances through the Gospels confirm that the work Jesus did in the lives of his disciples occurred because the disciples were in relationship, not simply with him, but with one another. That manner of growth in spiritual depth—in the context of community—is not accidental. It is part of how people are built. We were created to seek God, and we were created to find him with others. Not only does this reflect the strategy of Jesus, but just as crucially, it reflects the design of God.”
(The Pursuit of God in the Company of Friends by Richard Lamb, Page17)
“But there is one defect I do see. In addressing my readers as individuals, trying as best I can to single them out and search their hearts before God, I fail to show that it is only as one gives oneself in human relationships, in the home, in friendships, with neighbors, as members of Christian groups and teams--in relationships that go sometimes right and sometimes wrong, as all our relationships do--that experiential knowledge of God becomes real and deep. For ordinary people, to be a hermit is not the way! The buttoned-up Christian “loner” who keeps aloof and reads books like this (or just the Bible!) may pick up true notions of God as well as anyone else may, but only the Christian sharer , who risks being hurt in order to take and give the maximum in fellowship and who sometimes does get hurt as a result, ever knows much of God himself in experiential terms. This perspective, so clear in the Psalms (to which, perhaps, my book should be seen as a preamble, or maybe a footnote), is so vital that I am very much at fault for not having made more of it. But if groups use this study guide, as is intended, that in itself may yet induce the necessary open and mutually committed lifestyle which I failed to mark out in the exposition. I hope and pray so, anyway.”
Knowing God Study Guide by J. I. Packer-page 6
These are wonderful quotes! Thank you for sharing them with me and also the community of readers here. I am so grateful!
Thank you as well for the great work you are doing!
Aslan is on the move!
Thank you for this. Community is a hard thing for me especially the writing community. Though that’s not totally true. I have crappy emotional intelligence so in a group I can be good at alienating people. I have a lot of hurt that makes me gunshy. But I also have some friends who say keep going, and who read my work. Thanks for your writing and insightful essay.
The good news, Katie, is that we can keep giving ourselves not only to community but to the learning it involves!
Yes that is good news!
Katie, every person’s story is a broken story yet it is our brokenness that makes our story our story. Our stories are worth the telling and each person’s story is worth the hearing. I deeply believe that in the mystery of grace the telling and hearing of our stories is what transforms our wounds into scars. Our scars never deny the reality of our wounds but scars also testify to the healing and it is in the healing we discover purpose and connection to the One who will some day tell us the story of His scars.
Sounds like a wise take in this. Writing and telling my story has also been very healing for me. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
"The thing is, of course, that when you’re left alone to carry burdens, you get good at independence. And because you look so capable, it perpetuates the assumption that you don’t need help. I lived a long time with the resentment of this dynamic, until I realized I would have to learn to invite others in."
Well put! I've also found that when I try too hard to be in control of things, a similar isolating effect occurs. In the moment, being in control feels great, but in the long run I realize I'm still a fallen person living in a fallen world that needs help from those around me. I'm learning to get better at being vulnerable around others and, as you said, learning to invite them in. Certainly an area for growth!
Yes that impulse to control is isolating!
Writing in an effort to cultivate a "Habit Called Faith" along with you...Blessings
https://open.substack.com/pub/jonathanbrownson/p/a-stomach-full-of-pain?r=gdp9j&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
It's difficult for most people to talk about themselves whether it is about successes or failures. This is especially true for those who are independently minded. I've found that those who matter celebrate your successes with you and encourage you when you are short of the goal. People crave authenticity. I think you'll find that people respond to us when we show we're only humans doing the best we can. But never be afraid of sharing your successes whatever they may be. It's not bragging, it's an encouragement to others.
Your words remind me of Andy Crouch's work on vulnerability! And you're right, relationships and community can't be built apart from the trust that vulnerability requires.
Jen, here is another quote that you may find of interest.
John
“Abundance has brought beautiful things to our lives, but that bevy of material goods has not necessarily made us much happier. The paradox of prosperity is that while living standards have risen steadily decade after decade, personal, family and life satisfaction haven't budged. That is why more people--liberated by prosperity but not fulfilled by it--are seeking to resolve the paradox by searching for meaning. The most striking feature of contemporary culture is the unslaked craving for transcendence.”
Daniel Pink, A Whole New Mind, page 35.
Hi Jen!
I just posted my first Substack publication on Political Humility. Could you give it a read and let me know what you think?
Here's the link: https://substack.com/home/post/p-145617991?r=10irue&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web