Regret seems to be a byproduct of faithful parenting. Can we ever be and do all that we thought we would? As my oldest turns 30 this year, I have concluded this small thing: By grace, my regret becomes a sign that repentance and growth are happening in my heart. Remorse and sorrow over sin can be a powerful motivator for better decisions in the future.
Well, I wasn't expecting to have to fight back tears first thing this morning. This is advice I needed to hear, especially that sentiment from Ortlund. I'm feeling challenged by the truth that healthy parenting starts with being a healthy person rather than externalizing the responsibility on your kids, which is so easy to do. Thank you for this!
I love this, Jen. Thank you! My kids are younger (10, 8, and 7), and so I am soaking up this advice. Parenting my middle guy is particularly tricky and challenging right now, and now I'm thinking about how I might offer him a blessing--rather than just silently moan about how difficult he is right now.
"My transformation lagged behind my desires; presence was harder than I imagined.
But here’s a bit of good news: I will say that parenting five children has proven that practice can make for progress in our parenting competencies."
I have experienced that first part to be true, and hope that the second will be true, as well. (And as an aside, I have joked to my husband that if we ever happen to get pregnant with twins after these three children... I'll be like Jen Pollock Michel! And probably overwhelmed for a time. haha.)
Thanks for writing this. I recently listened to the Mere Fidelity podcast on the concept of 'blessings' and it was really fascinating. So this was a beautiful follow-up to that for me.
Thank you for sharing, Jen! I am only a couple of months away from meeting our first child face to face, and I know I will be returning to these ideas many times in the years to come!
Oh how I loved reading this, Jen, even as tears pricked my eyes. So much wisdom and grace in your faithful response to blessing your sons. Happy birthday Colin and Andrew!
Thanks for this, Jen. I had a hard parenting moment with my oldest this week. Hard because he told me things that were hard to hear. Good because he felt safe enough to tell me. I wrestle with wanting to parent differently from how I was parented, but I think part of that is looking squarely at the ways I am repeating the same mistakes despite my best efforts and not shrinking from the shame or trying to shift it by criticizing my children.
I keep thinking of the lines from our prayer of confession in the liturgy “Wherefore we flee for refuge to Your infinite mercy, seeking and imploring Your grace for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ”.
Flee for refuge indeed. I feel very stretched every day between five small people, and fail them so often. And yet I don’t think wallowing in my failure is the way either.
What a wonderful line from your liturgy to hold fast to. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful..." God bless you in the regular, hard work you keep persevering to do!
Regret seems to be a byproduct of faithful parenting. Can we ever be and do all that we thought we would? As my oldest turns 30 this year, I have concluded this small thing: By grace, my regret becomes a sign that repentance and growth are happening in my heart. Remorse and sorrow over sin can be a powerful motivator for better decisions in the future.
Such a hopeful way to see regret - as an expression of repentance! Thank you, Michele!
Well, I wasn't expecting to have to fight back tears first thing this morning. This is advice I needed to hear, especially that sentiment from Ortlund. I'm feeling challenged by the truth that healthy parenting starts with being a healthy person rather than externalizing the responsibility on your kids, which is so easy to do. Thank you for this!
Lots of parenting advice has failed me - but Ortlund’s really does feel time-tested and truly wise. I’m glad this was helpful!
I love this, Jen. Thank you! My kids are younger (10, 8, and 7), and so I am soaking up this advice. Parenting my middle guy is particularly tricky and challenging right now, and now I'm thinking about how I might offer him a blessing--rather than just silently moan about how difficult he is right now.
May God give you the sight that is needed!
"My transformation lagged behind my desires; presence was harder than I imagined.
But here’s a bit of good news: I will say that parenting five children has proven that practice can make for progress in our parenting competencies."
I have experienced that first part to be true, and hope that the second will be true, as well. (And as an aside, I have joked to my husband that if we ever happen to get pregnant with twins after these three children... I'll be like Jen Pollock Michel! And probably overwhelmed for a time. haha.)
Thanks for writing this. I recently listened to the Mere Fidelity podcast on the concept of 'blessings' and it was really fascinating. So this was a beautiful follow-up to that for me.
I wish you all the blessings God has for you, Haley! 😉
Thank you for sharing, Jen! I am only a couple of months away from meeting our first child face to face, and I know I will be returning to these ideas many times in the years to come!
What a gift, this beginning! God bless you in what is a momentous transition!
Love this! Happy birthday, Andrew and Colin! From what I can see, you've done a great job. ❤️
Well, they can’t get themselves into too much trouble when they’re half-awake on the morning! 😉
Oh how I loved reading this, Jen, even as tears pricked my eyes. So much wisdom and grace in your faithful response to blessing your sons. Happy birthday Colin and Andrew!
Thanks, Donna! Thanks for being part of a faithful church community that loves them!
Beautiful thoughts beautifully expressed!
Thank you for reading, Joy!
Love this!!
Thanks for reading!
I've been thinking about this all week, Jen. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for this, Jen. I had a hard parenting moment with my oldest this week. Hard because he told me things that were hard to hear. Good because he felt safe enough to tell me. I wrestle with wanting to parent differently from how I was parented, but I think part of that is looking squarely at the ways I am repeating the same mistakes despite my best efforts and not shrinking from the shame or trying to shift it by criticizing my children.
I keep thinking of the lines from our prayer of confession in the liturgy “Wherefore we flee for refuge to Your infinite mercy, seeking and imploring Your grace for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ”.
Flee for refuge indeed. I feel very stretched every day between five small people, and fail them so often. And yet I don’t think wallowing in my failure is the way either.
What a wonderful line from your liturgy to hold fast to. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful..." God bless you in the regular, hard work you keep persevering to do!