The fall is in full swing, and I am more than a little worried that I have overcommitted. There will be time to review and revise the calendar, but that time is not exactly now. I’ll have to see some of these commitments through, trying as best I can to make space for the quiet, the creative work, and the connection that can get sidelined when the schedule gets unruly.
One thing I’ve added to my calendar is Friday morning Bible study at my church. In the past, I’ve hesitated to commit to a weekly church Bible study, given my work commitments, but this year, I sensed a nudge to participate with my mom, who used to regularly attend Bible study before our move to Cincinnati and her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I knew this would be a context for her to develop more relationships, even for the church to learn to care for one, who is differently abled. (I highly recommend John Swinton’s Becoming Friends of Time if you want to think about pastoral care in this context.)
I also knew my mother, who is now sometimes forgetting my name, would love more time with me. In this caregiving role, I am learning that the point isn’t the “productive end” to any effort I make. Having memorably learned in a commentary on Ecclesiastes, some crooked things can’t be made straight. The point of this “accompanying” season, as I call it, is to offer loving presence. The point is hope and joy.
When we went around the small group the first week, sharing what we hoped to gain from the study, my mom expressed beautifully what should be everyone’s goal: “I just want to grow.” Although my mother is past the point of reading fluidly and taking any kind of legible notes, there’s no doubt in my mind that she is going to grow—because growth, in the Christian life, is not a measure of knowledge but love. I was reminded of this truth a couple of weeks ago, when reading 1 Corinthians 8:1: “Yes, we know that ‘we all have knowledge’ about this issue. But while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church.” There is a place in God’s family for people with wide-ranging capacities and deficits. To be a good Christian doesn’t require storehouses of knowledge and intellectual aptitude. Instead, God only asks that we become like a child, bending ourselves low enough, humbly enough to believe we have something to learn.
When it was my turn to talk last week, I did not sound as sweet and saintly as my mother. Rather, I confessed I am completely allergic to Bible study workbooks.
If, in the future, someone is looking for creative ways to torture me, they simply need to shut me up in a cell with a Bible study workbook and ask me to count how many times the Holy Spirit is mentioned in the Book of Acts. There is no inherent fault in workbooks, and a well-written workbook can help guide people to see important things in the text. A good workbook can help people grapple with the application of the text to their own lives. Workbooks are good, and I celebrate their usefulness—(for others). Part of the reason I don’t like workbooks is surely my own cantankerous spirit because I know they serve a purpose. It’s just that I don’t like feeling constrained by itty-bitty blanks, and I don’t always see the point of obvious factual questions. I’m a sprawling note-taker, and I like doing my own noticing and observing, thank you very much.
I told my Bible study group at least this much, offering an early apology that I will likely show up, my workbook blank. This will be hard for a highly responsible Enneagram 1 like me, but I know I will be better served to engage the text in deeper, more open-ended ways. I bought an ESV Scripture journal, which allows for all kinds of copious note-taking with every page of text accompanied by a blank page. I bought two theologically diverse commentaries on Acts, one by John Stott, the other by Willie James Jennings. Does this sound uncooperative of me, refusing to abide by the program set forth by the wonderful leaders of this study? Maybe. And maybe it just sounds like I’m engaging the purpose of the study, which is to deepen our engagement with God’s word and learn together in community. To grow in love, not knowledge alone.
I wonder how your own fall is shaping up—and the space you’re making for God to speak to you through his word. Here are some suggestions/tools for making this a priority habit in your life, apart from which I cannot imagine growing in the Christian life.
1. Read, listen, memorize, recite, study, meditate. Don’t forget there are all kinds of ways to engage the biblical text!
3. The One Year Bible (NLT). No reason to wait until January!
4. Lectio 365 (app).
5. Pray as You Go (app).
6. Bible Project (So. Many. Resources.)
7. 5-day YouVersion devotional on my book, In Good Time.
8. 40 days through Deuteronomy and John, as you read A Habit Called Faith.
And your relationship with your mom is a continual encouragement and challenge to me and Mike. Your example is a gift to your community, both here and in Cincy.
Who among us has not experienced Bible study workbook allergy? ha! I will say add that good workbooks have been such a gift in seasons where brainpower is in short supply but there's a desire to study, and they have helped amend my own blindspots when studying a text.